Coach Mikki and Friends

Unravelling the Personalities: The Key to Flourishing Relationships - Mamie Lamley & Maria Fontaine - S3E6

July 11, 2023 Coach Mikki Season 3 Episode 6
Coach Mikki and Friends
Unravelling the Personalities: The Key to Flourishing Relationships - Mamie Lamley & Maria Fontaine - S3E6
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Today, we're bringing you a conversation that promises to shift your perspective and reframe how you view, engage with, and relate to those around you. Ever wondered why certain relationships flourish effortlessly while others seem like constant uphill battles?
 Our guests, Maria Fontaine and Mamie Lamley, founders of the empowering Heartlink project, shed light on this by introducing us to a versatile tool called Bank, which they've used to connect with people in every facet of life—from business to family to personal relationships. 

In our exploration of personality types, Maria and Mamie help us dissect the Blueprint, Action, Nurturing, and Knowledge personalities. By sharing their personal journeys of self-discovery, they reveal how understanding these unique personality traits can enable us to forge stronger connections, build robust relationships, and create successful businesses. We delve into stories that illustrate the transformative power of empathy and open-mindedness in communication. 

In the final part of our discussion, we examine how different personality types shape our relationships and communication styles. Maria and Mamie recount how learning to navigate these personalities has greatly influenced their personal and professional lives. As we close, we reflect on the importance of authenticity, bravery, and the enriching value of diverse friendships. By the end of this conversation, we hope you'll not only appreciate the importance of considerate communication but also be inspired to embrace the unique personality traits of those around you. Get ready to explore a world of understanding personalities, fostering relationships, and building successful businesses.

We look forward to seeing you succeed! - www.KeepOnSharing.com - Code - KOS

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Coach Mikki:

Hey, i'm Coach Mickey and I'm so glad that you've joined us. If this is your first time joining us, come on in and make yourself comfortable. For those of you that joined us on a regular basis, we are so glad that you do and we are so happy about your comments, your questions and your suggestions that you guys always bring to us. Love the fact that you are connecting with a lot of our guests and having such a good time and helping you support them and also in your businesses and what you are doing in life. So this is really good And, as our circle of friends, i'm really excited today because I've had an opportunity to work with both of these women. They are incredible business women. They are incredible people. They're incredible individuals. We are going to just jump in and have a good time and have some fun, share some fun stories, give you some insight on how to build your businesses and some inspiration in life. And, yeah, so welcome. Welcome with me.

Coach Mikki:

Maria Fontaine and Mamie Lamley. How are you guys? Hi, i'm so glad that you're with me. I know that we are collaborating on something that you guys are going to be doing in the near future And, as you guys know, as my circle of friends. All that information will be embedded into the podcast, but today we're going to get to know both of these incredible entrepreneurial women that have done so many amazing things, not only throughout the country, but also throughout the world, to help you guys just grow a little bit. So how are you guys? And Mamie, i'm going to start with you. I know you're in Canada right now. You're always traveling. I don't think I ever speak to you where you're not in a different country.

Mamie:

You're funny, Mikki. I never know where I'm going to be. In fact, I didn't know I was going to be in Canada until one of my teams here said hey, Mamie, come on up, we got a lot of stuff to do here, and so that's what I do best. I got on a plane and just came in to Toronto and building business and having fun. That's the way we balance life.

Coach Mikki:

Yes, yes. Well, you are so spontaneous And, honestly, i have a lot of respect for somebody that can do that, can go and just say yes, and then you're there. And being spontaneous, i think opens up a lot of doors that we don't realize are actually in front of us. Absolutely, Absolutely, yeah. So what are you doing up there? I know you said your team. So what are you guys working? I know you work with a lot of different people and a lot of different aspects, so what are you doing up in that area?

Mamie:

Well, we're building a Canadian team here for our bank organization. So I've actually been on and off calls for training. Last night I did a training for about 28 people who are incorporating our personality intelligence into their multi-level marketing, direct sales and their performance blogging, and so we're teaching them how to incorporate personas sales personas into their blogging as well as their businesses. So it's taken off. It's amazing. Just another aspect of what we're doing, and Maria and I we're actually working on a project together.

Mamie:

So when I get back from Canada, we're going to be putting together two other projects. We have a project with Heartlink that I'm hoping to see some of our listeners there, where we get to talk about women empowerment, and then we're also putting together a two day workshop that will talk a little bit more about how to close sales quicker In fact, in less than for us understanding who's in front of you in less than 90 seconds And then how to actually, on the serious side, how to build relationships, how to build relationships and connect with the people that are in front of us, who are partners with us, who are children or grandchildren for us. It's amazing, there's a lot of things happening. That's great.

Coach Mikki:

Let's all get interconnected And even though I'm familiar with bank, maybe you can share with our circle of friends what bank is, and I love this actually for you guys, if you're not familiar with with bank, whether it's like you maybe said, relationships, business wise, really in any aspect of your life. I mean, i have found ways to utilize every single tool out of this. So, either you and Maria, do you want to share with our circle of friends what bank really does and how can you incorporate it in everything in everyday life?

Mamie:

Maria, I'll let you go first. I got a funny story that I can follow up with.

Maria:

Well, it helps you connect, relate and communicate with people, whether it's your loved ones, kids, your co-workers. It just helps you on any level, any situation. Once you know what bank is all about, once you know about personalities, it helps you to dive in there and you'll be on their personality level with them.

Coach Mikki:

That's pretty awesome. Well, i do love the fact that it is a way to connect. When I read the book, i bet Maria was so sweet. Maria, I met Maria for lunch and she says I've got a presence for you. Every time I meet Maria she's got presents for me. It's like Christmas every day with Maria. She was so kind enough to give me the book Why They Buy. I read that and I was like, oh my gosh, it was just so much more because I think a lot of times when we're like, oh, it's business, it's this, there is such a facet to that communication and connection that I think we miss. That's one of the reasons why I love having both of you guys on, because you bring another option, another facet to business and relationships in everyday life that I think we miss. And really, to sum it down in one word, is communication. It's communication. I mean right, Yes, yeah.

Mamie:

Yeah, yeah.

Coach Mikki:

Yeah, Mamie, what were you saying? You said you had a story.

Mamie:

please share Well you know, i'm hoping that that Maria tells her story about her grand, her kids and going to Disneyland. I'm going to talk to you about a story about you know how many of us were married right, and what I need to tell you is that when you understand things, you will understand that opposites attract and opposites attack. And you know, i was sitting in a classroom one day and, and literally it was a sad thing, because a husband and wife came into the to the classroom and said you know, we're hoping what we want to get out of here, out of this class today, is how can we stay together? And I'm looking at them going what do you mean, stay together? And literally they said well, the wife said you know my husband, i don't think he loves me anymore because he doesn't hold my hand, he doesn't, he doesn't say I love you, i loved it, i love it with him, and he says you make me hot. You know that kind of stuff.

Mamie:

Well, when we asked the gentleman, we asked the gentleman what you know, what would you have to say in response to what she just said? He literally make. He looked, looked, looked his wife in the eye and said honey, when we got married, didn't I tell you that I would love you till death. Do us part. Well, if, if, and she said yes, she, he goes. Well, you know, if that changes, i'll let you know. And you know what, mickey, he wasn't joking, but guess what He was.

Mamie:

But what happened was at that moment they realized, because they had just gone through a relationship class with us, he, when he said it, we could see it in his face. When he said, oh my God, that was an opposite attacking, because his mind is hey, i told you I loved you on that day, what? 23, 30 years ago? and nothing's changed. So when it changes, i'll let you know. But how many of us don't take that the right way, right? However, when we were done with that class, mickey, it was amazing because that one thing that happened in that span of what? three minutes changed their life forever. And today they're still married. Because she then understood that when he said that he means it, i still love you. And if it changes, i'll let you know. That was a knowledge reaction to a nurturing plea for love, and that's just one of the things that we get to learn about others and ourselves when we go through these classes, isn't that amazing?

Maria:

It is.

Mamie:

Yeah.

Maria:

Let me tell you about my, what I experienced Me. I'm an action, i'm spontaneous, i'll do things at the spare of the moment, like hey, come on, let's go, we're going to do this. So I told my kids and they were like eight, 10 and 12. I said get in the car, guys. And I had packed some stuff for them. And I live in California, so LA. So by the time we were driving around, we got there. We got to Disneyland. Surprise, we're at Disneyland. I was so excited, do you know? they were upset with me. I said what's wrong with you, guys? We're at Disneyland And they didn't enjoy the whole time we were there. They didn't enjoy themselves And I couldn't feel what's going on.

Maria:

So, years later, years later, i asked my daughter because I have one daughter and three sons And I asked her. I said why do you remember Disneyland? Why is it you didn't have fun? What was it that you did? You know we're at Disneyland, you know? and she says well, it wasn't on my schedule, you didn't tell me about it.

Maria:

I didn't have the right outfit on and my hair wasn't called properly. I said what See? that's the different personality. I was like are you kidding me? You're only 10. Come on, i just you know, to this day it's like, oh, my goodness, and you know what? It doesn't matter how old someone is, you can tell my grandson, who's two years old, already knew his personality when he and he's right now he's six And he's a knowledge, blueprint, action, nurturing. Because you know, he's the youngest of all my grandkids, my oldest is like 32. And he's, like I said, he's six, nice to hug him and love on him all the time.

Maria:

And you know, and then one day he saw me coming and from that day forward he didn't want me to touch him. It's like what's wrong with you? I thought what happened? What's changed? He did not want me to touch him, he didn't want me to invade his space. And Mamie said why don't you ask him permission? I said why? I said, well, okay, so I did. I said can I hug you, can I kiss you? And he'll tell me yes or no, and if he tells me no, i don't touch him, i won't hug him. But I've noticed, since I've asked him permission, he now, we now more, hug more often and love on each other more often. But it's because now I'm, i am not invading his space, i'm respecting his space. But that's him. Even at six years old, he already knows, you know, and I know his, i know his, his personality, wow.

Coach Mikki:

Wow, that's, it's pretty amazing. I think the most important thing is is that you recognize, you know that type of personality and you threw out a couple of key words here where you said blueprint, knowledge, action and nurturing. And for a circle of friends that aren't familiar with that, go ahead, you know someone explain in regards to what that means, just so they can kind of identify what you're, what these terminologies that you're you're putting out there with these personalities. So so if, if I know nothing about which I, you know, i, i, i know more than most people out there, not as much as you guys, but at least I've done, i've done some of the programs. But someone who has no idea what we're discussing right now, can you kind of give us a quick, quick outline of what you're referring to? Oh, absolutely.

Mamie:

I'll start with the blueprint and then we can go alternate here. You know the blueprint personalities, three of the biggest codes that you values that what you need to understand with the blueprint is that they need systems and structures and they do not like risk and you have to be on time. So if you have someone who turns around and tells you ah, you're late and you're on time, there's a likelihood that you're dealing with a blueprint. If you have someone who needs systems and structures they talk about budgets and following the rules you might be meeting with a blueprint. And what we do in bank is we help you understand the four, the four different personalities blueprint, action, nurturing and knowledge, so that you can understand that it's not personal anymore Mickey, it's personality.

Mamie:

So that's just one of them, blueprints. Just know that if there, if you've got anyone who is always on time, you have to make appointments. they need structure, they need details. You might want to then take a look at what do you need to provide to them so that you can get the response and the reaction and the action that you want from them. I'm going to let Maria talk about her primary code and that action.

Maria:

Action. Well, like I said, we like freedom, flexibilities, spontaneity, opportunity, excitement. We like the attention to be brought to us. It's all about us, me myself and I. You can hear them before you see them. Oh, i can hear so. And so There comes my Amy. She's come, i hear her already, and it's about image Plus. Because of that, we have a short tension span. Don't give us all the details. Just what is it? What's in it for me? next? Just give me the bottom line. I'm good And I will tell you yes or no. Right, then and there, if you give me too much detail, too much stuff, you're going to talk yourself out of it. Thank you, we like to have fun while we're looking good.

Mamie:

Oh, mickey. And the third one is our nurturing personality, and of course that's me. We are the ones that love building relationships, building community. Authenticity is what drives us And the money that we exchange with people has nothing to do with money, currency. Our currency is relationship. The bigger our circle of friends, the more impact that we can make and a difference in the world. So very different perspective when you take a look at these three different personalities. Nurturing personalities come from the heart And when you see us, we are the ones that have the big smiles And we're always asking how can we serve? You'll find a lot of servant leaders in the nurturing personalities And all we want to do is to help and make a difference.

Mamie:

Maria you want to go through knowledge.

Maria:

Our knowledge. they're one of the smartest people in the room. They're your billionaire makers Think of Steve Jobs, disney, forbes. They're the science people. They like universal truth. They like competence, accuracy and they see the big picture. Think about it. They see the big picture and things. That's how they can build and make things. when they're creating things, they like learning, logic, the self mastery, and they're the type of people you can never close a knowledge. You have to give them the information, give them all the data, give them the information. They're going to go look it up, research it. then they're going to come back and give you the answer. They're not going to say yes right away. Give them their space.

Coach Mikki:

I love this. Now I know my circle of friends are going. Well, how do I know what I am? How do I know what I do? And this is the fun part This is where I met you guys, and then I did it. I actually had an opportunity to break my code and find out where I am. What's my my losing words here? This is I'm a podcast host. I can't think of what I was going to say Your personality code.

Maria:

Thank you.

Coach Mikki:

So for you guys that would like to learn how to do this or find out who you are, this is the fun part, because there's going to be a link embedded in the podcast where you guys are going to have an opportunity to crack your code and find out where you land within these four personalities. And then what's even more fun is that Maria and Mamie are going to help you identify how to not only identify it, but the people you work around with, and that's what I want you guys to share, because that is what I'm really excited about for your upcoming event that you guys have coming this fall that people have an opportunity to utilize this information and help benefit them in so many different ways.

Maria:

Okay, so anyone who before you go, anyone who cracks their code now that here's your podcast, we will give them a free assessment to usually $99, will give them free just because they're coming through on your podcast And, like you said, we'll have a link listed.

Coach Mikki:

Nice, nice, that's awesome, and I you know what. It is so much fun. Please do it, you guys. It is going to surprise you, and it is. It's so much fun to figure out who you are. It was like the light bulb went on. and that it makes sense.

Maria:

Make less than 90 seconds to complete your code.

Coach Mikki:

What are some of the funniest things? that when you've had people identify and say, oh my gosh, i'm really this type of person. Have you found there's been a lot of success stories because it has changed people's lives, some of the information that you just shared and the stories that you shared to be able to connect? But maybe I know you have you have had opportunities to speak all over the world and work with different people from different cultures. What did you find was the most rewarding part in a different country that found this and said, oh my gosh, wow, i had no idea.

Mamie:

You know, I think it is about that bridge of communication That has been the biggest thing in any culture that we've been working with And the ability to actually laugh at ourselves because we we don't have to take it personal anymore And when we see, you know like for me, I watched my sister. They used to call her Sergeant Striker. She was the blueprint in our life, right, She's the one who, when she walks through the door the nieces and nephews goes Oh, Sarge is here, right? And then actually her deal was this She's a blueprint personality.

Mamie:

She is one of the only women that I knew in Hawaii that actually did the inspections on nuclear submarines. Oh, wow, What is it? Why are the only women that I knew? Now, if you were getting, if you had to pay for an inspector to come on board, what did you want, Sergeant Striker? my sister, Beatrice, Because she paid attention to the, to the details, and she took her responsibility so seriously that When you saw her, you thought she was a high command in the military and yet when you got to know her, she was a teddy bear And what we found out was, you know, it was part of her personality, systems and structures taking the responsibility of making sure that our nuclear submarines were safe yes, yeah, that's important.

Coach Mikki:

You're right, i want that person to be that type of personality.

Mamie:

Absolutely Now. Then of course, they look at me and they say, oh, I love Auntie Mimi. Why? Because she's so loving She is, She'll give you the shirt off her back. See, different, different. And what are they used to say? Different show for different folks, right?

Coach Mikki:

Yeah.

Mamie:

And we need all four personalities in our lives because we bring each one of us brings a important aspect of the full four codes where we get to function, have fun, make communication, build that bridge and get to understand each other even more deeply. How's that? I think that's amazing, isn't it?

Coach Mikki:

It really is And when you look at it from that aspect, especially with four personalities like that, it's very like you said. You guys make it so simple where you said you can identify that personality within a short period of time based on key words they say or things that happen, and you guys have that whole program where people can identify with that and see where that communication and structure communication structure, i guess, to put a word on it is going to help you with working with different people, like you said, whether it's relationships or business. And that's why I think, with the business world, having that avenue to communicate in the appropriate way with the person that you are across from is so important. And learning and being open minded One of the things that I did find out about bank that you have to do is you have to be open minded to and receive who that other person is, to be able to have you utilize this and make it work, and I think that's one of the things that I think is really important to me And once you do, it just opens up a whole new world And it really does give you an opportunity to communicate and connect with people You didn't think you'd have an opportunity to connect with And it really is pretty amazing.

Coach Mikki:

What is? and I'm going to just ask you one more more questions. See if it spurs thought or something that you guys can think of The two just opposite personalities that you've seen in business come together but where you would have thought, my gosh, there's no way these people, if they didn't know about bank or how to communicate, there's no way they would have connected. Do you guys have a story that you can share on that one?

Mamie:

Maria, you have a story.

Maria:

No, i'm just thinking about blueprints and actions. You know, because actions are so overpowering, they're just, you know, they're all for show and they're like come on, let's do it. Yeah, let's go. And yet a blueprint is very structured. They're more on the quiet side. They want, you know, they need to think about things, and so actions always going forth, always trying to do things, like right now. So they bump heads a lot, but once they understand the personalities of each other, then they know an action, knows how to calm down a little and step into the blueprint so they can relate to each other and communicate.

Coach Mikki:

And that makes sense. I mean you have to. It's give and take, you know, like like anything else. Now do you find that you have a majority of more action and nurturing people over blueprint and knowledge, or do you find it's kind of even across the board based on you know just what you guys have done through the years of working with us?

Maria:

Actually there's more of nurturing people. Then there's action. I mean the action. Then you have your blueprints.

Mamie:

And that's just what we're doing right now, Mickey, You know. Can you imagine, though? we have all four out there, And the beauty is this as we start to understand each of those personas, we actually get to laugh at one another and ourselves. You know, with that And you know, with my husband he's a typical I can't do business with him. I'm going to tell you why. My husband's a knowledge blueprint, Right, Yeah, my husband's a knowledge blueprint. Mickey, I am a nurturing action, And when my husband looks at what I do, he goes you're crazy, You're crazy, you know. And this is how different it could be sometimes, right, Here I am, I'm the nurturing, And I think I told you this story before. I'm gonna share it with our listeners, though. Again I am.

Mamie:

I'm waiting Valentine's Day. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna get chocolates and flowers, right. And so here's my knowledge blueprint, husband. He walks in with a box that has some goo in it, And I'm like what is that? Well, I go, where's my flowers? He goes, well, flowers die. And I'm like, oh, okay. I said okay, where's my chocolate? He goes well, matter of factly, Well, chocolate makes you fat, maybe. And I'm like, okay. And so he puts the box of goo on the ground and he tells me to step into it. I'm like this is my Valentine's gift, But you have to understand. I step into the goo and I'm like what?

Coach Mikki:

is this.

Mamie:

This is crazy. For some knowledge it's like, well, that's kinky, right, but he goes. no, seriously, put that in, because when we're done with this, i'm gonna take it back to the shoe company And remember, you told me you had a bolting and protruding disc. What we're gonna do is we're gonna get them to scientifically make you a orthotic so that we can avoid surgery. When you talk about how much he loves me, it's just a different way of showing it. yeah, and who would have thought it? So I laughed about the chocolates and the flowers, but for him, the way he showed me that he loves me was to get an orthotic that would save my back. Now, that is love, that is power, and I wouldn't have understood that, because, from a nurturing perspective, i was looking for flowers and chocolate. And he went one step further And today I think, like I told you, i have not had to go through back surgery. Now, that is priceless.

Coach Mikki:

yes, What a kind and thoughtful thing to do that he took you so into consideration And that was his wow. That's a wonderful story. I'm glad you share that. I love that, but that is a great way for people to understand how people communicate. But still, the thoughtfulness, the kindness, the fact that he took you into consideration, he just did it in his own way. I love that. That is awesome.

Coach Mikki:

That is, see, and that's what I love about this whole program, because it gives you a whole opportunity to understand from a different perspective. It really does still come down to the same thing. I mean, if you take love, kindness and compassion and the ability to be considerate to other people, they do it in their own way. It's just identifying how they're doing it and not internalizing it based on who we are, and that's how I kind of see it. Again, that's just my perspective, but what an incredible thing. I love this program and it has been so much fun working with both of you because you guys have opened up so many doors, based in the knowledge, to what I need to do going forward. Plus, it's made me a better podcast host to be able to although my speaking can use some work, mamie, i think I have to get with you. I'm just having one of those days That's awesome, you are amazing.

Coach Mikki:

Oh my gosh, you were talking about laughing at yourself. Yup, sign me up. That's me. Well, you guys have been so much fun.

Coach Mikki:

Thank you so much for being with me today and sharing all this information with our circle of friends, and I am really excited that you have an event coming up in the fall And I'm going to have you guys back before that even happens so we can kind of share that And, as you guys know, as our circle of friends, all their information, the way that you can connect with with both of them, will be in the podcast And I highly recommend it because, mamie, i know you speak so many places in so many different areas, whether it's virtual or in person, and I really invite our circle of friends to have an opportunity to come and see you.

Coach Mikki:

I know you're at a couple of events, maria. I know you've got an event that you hold on Wednesdays and you hold once a month for women entrepreneurs and for people to connect, and also with bank and some other things that you do, and I highly recommend you reach out and you be part of Maria's organization and what she has to offer, because it's pretty incredible And we all support and love each other and help each other and make it happen and use the connections and the networking. So thank you so much for both of you, for both of you being on me today.

Maria:

You're welcome. Thank you for inviting us.

Coach Mikki:

Thank you All right you guys, I will look forward to seeing you next week. We have got another incredible guest that's going to be on that's gonna share some great insight and information, And for those of you that would like to make some more suggestions on what maybe you need some help with or what you'd like to hear for some of our guests, please keep that coming. We've got some fun things happening. Everybody has got a story And remember, the most courageous thing you can do is be yourself. I love you all and I will see you next week. Bye.

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Understanding Personality Types for Success
The Importance of Personality in Communication
Love and Communication in Relationships
Guests, Insights, and Suggestions